Snappy answers to stupid Real Estate questions

(Warning, another rant about to start)  If it only happened once or twice I’d be fine, but I can’t count how often I’m showing a propety to a prospective home buyer and as we walk in to the house, there’s no furniture, no curtains, no appliances, no evidence of human life or activity for centuries.   The heat is off and you can see your breath in the cold air, in fact, it’s colder inside the house than outside the house!   After 5 steps into the house the buyer has a burning question that they just can’t hold back for the searing urgency of it……….   Is this house VACANT !!??!!

My answer? OMG, NO !!!   The homeowner knew that it was YOU coming to look at the home because they saw the nightly news flash that YOU have finally decided to enter the South Jersey real estate market to “consider” buying a home after selling your Star Wars action figure collection to raise the down payment money….. so they MOVED all of their stuff OUT of the house so that you could see the home better and as soon as your highness leaves, they will move thier stuff back in and resume thier normal life, basking in the after glow of your presence in thier humble home.      Idiot.